


Okay.

by thelonelyneko



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Depressed Sans (Undertale), Depression, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, POV Second Person, Panic Attacks, Papyrus is briefly mentioned - Freeform, Sad Ending, Sans (Undertale) Remembers Resets, Sans (Undertale)-centric, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, if you want to see it that way - Freeform, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-09-26 19:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17147453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonelyneko/pseuds/thelonelyneko
Summary: It was all too much make it stop.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhhh I was feeling a thing and wrote this yeeeeeeeee

It's like someones stabbing you in the chest, but don't worry, you're okay. Can't breathe, can't feel, but that's how it's always been, so just force a grin. Grin and bear it.

It won't be okay. But it will. To someone else. That's okay. Now you can feel how you've made other people feel.

It hurts so much it won't stop. Let it pour out from your veins in the form of the darkest rose petals. No one will notice if you let them grow. So plant a garden, plant the whole world. Even if they notice, they won't care. You don't blame them. You don't even care about yourself. Fuzzy. Buzzing in your ears. It won't stop. Make it stop. STOP. 

Please.

Can one thing go right? Maybe once? No? That's okay. Of course. You're okay. No use making people waste their energy pretending to worry. It's the only thing you seem to be good at anymore.

Okay. Adjective. All right; proceeding normally; satisfactory or under control.

You're under control.

Yesyesyesyesyesyes fine it's fine why wouldn't it be? You're either a good enough actor (which is doubtful. You're so tired. Too tired to speak most days) or they're really that ignorant.

No. Wait. Come back. You didn't mean it.

P

It's all too much, you've fucked up now, look what you've done.

A....... P

 

Everyone's banging on the door, begging you to come out, but they don't care. No one does.

Y

They'd get bored in a minute and forget everything. You could die and they wouldn't notice.

RRRRRRRRR

The thought was too tempting. It laughs in your ears, taunting you with the promise of eternal sleep, never having to worry or pretend anything ever again.

Yes.

That's right.

Come to us.

Us.

U  
.  
.  
.  
SSSSSSS.

im sorry.


	2. Working.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much vent. Wow.

You hate your job.

The work itself is fine, you dont really have to do much, which is perfect for you, the people are fine, it's all just fine.

So what is it that you hate?

You don't like thinking about it. You thought you were over that (for now). But when everyone stares in horror at your bare bones, and the motion of swiping credit cards over and over and over reminds you of a frightening action...

It's hard. 

It's tempting. 

You told everyone you wouldn't do it again but. The feeling is so comforting. It would be so easy to slip into the habit again, and no one would notice.

It's like you're practicing for a later date. Find the right grip, pressure, speed... and then when you're finally good enough, you can do it for real.

They're all so proud of you, you're doing so well, you want to tell them no you're not you're drowning please help! But you can't. Don't worry about anything. Don't make them worry. When you're gone, you're gone, and it won't matter. You won't matter.

You don't matter.

So to hell with it!

Why not go for it? If you're going to leave, go out with a bang!

So take the blade, slam it down until your bones rain down like sleet, watch your essence flow out and start to turn to dust. Cause some damage! Let yourself suffer before you blow away, because god knows you deserve that and more.

Watch the red flow, see the diamonds sparkling amongst it, feel the pain. The suffering. 

And then.

It will be over.

...

Won't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bother me on tumblr


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda dumped this onto a page in like 10 minutes so I'm sorry if it's more scattered than usual

What's the point of living in the past? The present? The future - hell, what's the point of living at all?

But you figure you cant even have that, can you? No, even when you somehow work up the courage and energy to off yourself in a run, hoping it will finally be the last, the goddamn kid resets.

Again.

You know deep down that it's not really 'them', that they're trying to stop, but after watching your brother die 100 times in a row, you cant bring yourself to care anymore. About anything.

Reset after reset after reset, and you cant even be satisfied by doing damage to yourself, since it'll just go away in a day or so anyway. 

It was a little bit unnerving at first, to see the cracks and divets in your bones vanish after a reset, but now it's just part of your routine. Your body could be lying in pieces on the ground, turning to dust, but the next day, you'd wake up on your grimy mattress, screaming your nonexistent throat raw.

Who cares if Papyrus hears? He'll be dead soon anyway, and hopefully you will be too, even if it's not for long.

Its unnerving how much you dont care, but of course, you dont bother thinking about it.

What's the point, you know? Even if anything somehow goes right, what would you if you get to the surface? The kid would still be able to reset, you wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that (not that you really sleep anyway). They would definitely reset if you killed yourself, but you just can't.

You cant and you wont go on living this way. But is it really living? You're so tired. You just want everything to be over.

Please.

Let it be over.

**Author's Note:**

> bother me on [tumblr](http://pe0pleallergy.tumblr.com/)


End file.
